The information on this website will improve your life immeasurably. Below you'll find solutions to modern life’s most persistent obstacle to your happiness: soul-sucking, self-absorbed narcissists making it worse. You’ll learn how to identify and cope with the narcissists in your life.

The 3 Tell-Tale Signs of a Narcissist

I hate to say it, but controlling, narcissistic and self-absorbed people are everywhere. They can be your neighbors, classmates, doctors, contractors, teachers, coworkers, bosses, friends and family.

It is an essential skill, one that you will continue to develop throughout your whole life, of recognizing who is harmful to your well-being and removing yourself from their influence.

The primary problem is that narcissists are covert abusers, so they rarely scream, beat you, or trash the house. Instead they will sap your self-worth, remove you from the rest of the world and make you dependent on them.

The key is noticing their behaviors from the actions speak louder than words principle. In every interaction with another person, you should keep close to your heart the feelings they impart to you. This is the narcissist’s weakness; they always violate this principle given their behavior and need to manipulate others. They say one thing and do another.

Only About Me, And Never About You, Unless It Has To Do With Me

Seems simple enough, but it manifests itself in subtle ways. Narcissistic people rarely control others in a way that is noticeable to outside eyes, unless those eyes are trained to recognize it.

But here is a simple, foolproof way of figuring out long term if a person has their best interests for you: how much they talk about themselves. With narcissists, everything will be about them, unless something about you helps them reach their ends.

This also comes through as a closed worldview. The narcissist likes what they like and won’t like (or downright despise) anything else. They’ll keep that hidden for a time, but when it comes down to it, nothing save for them is good or right.

Say Goodbye To Your Connections

So we’ve established that the narcissist’s goal is to control you from within and mess with your mind and perception. How do they do this? By making sure that they are your sole influence.

There’s no question that the people around you have immediate and long-term influences on your behavior and psyche. Controlling people realize that and so it is in their best interest to establish themselves as the authority figure, and remove everything else.

The result will be a loss of human contact, along with your identity in the world.

Don’t think that just relationships will suffer. Your interests, hobbies and all other activities that the narcissist doesn’t benefit from will disappear. It’s a slow process, but it’s always working and that’s why they succeed.

You have priorities for things in your life and narcissists do too. If you love to play the piano, the narcissist will put taking that away on the top of the To-Deprive list.

Something may “accidentally” happen to the piano, but most likely you’ll be discouraged to play it. Negative feedback like “Play something else…”, “Do you practice enough?”, “It must be off-key.” It will all amount to “Something is wrong with you. Don’t do that.”

If you’re into clothes or fashion, you will never receive a genuine compliment on your tastes. Anything boosts your self-worth takes away from them, and is the enemy. Ad infinitum.

The Emotional Instability Will Affect Other Areas of Your Life

The loss of motivation, participation, self-confidence, satisfaction and overall happiness will have an adverse effect on your health. Lack of sleep, poor productivity, loss of motivation, illness… something will happen.

It seems a bit ridiculous, but years of emotional abuse, especially from malignant narcissists, will eventually take their toll. If you’re raising a family, those traits will be picked up by the children and continue down the family line.

This is why the most important thing is recognition. Getting away from the abuser can be hard, but the hardest part is actually considering that they may be narcissistic and accepting it once you’ve found the evidence to convince yourself. Then you must take action.

Chances are you’re reading this article because you suspect you may be involved with a narcissist. My advice to you is to never be complacent; take action and figure out right away whether this person is a narcissist or not, and proceed to get away.

4 thoughts on “The 3 Tell-Tale Signs of a Narcissist” ...

  • Gamze says:

    Hi Scott! I ve been watching your YouTube channel for almost one year! I wish I could have found it earlier When I was in a mess deep trauma…It is unbelievable that so many phschologists doesnt have any meaningful information about narcissism especially covert narcissism…Now I understand that people who have experienced this serious problem in their households or among friends,partners can really help the others who couldnt figure out what has happened to them.Thank you so much…keep up the good work ..😊

  • Totally Heartbroken says:

    I desperately need this book. Im pretty certain my bf for the last 7 years is a narcissist of the grandiose variety with entitlement, exhibitionist and anger mgmt issues. the problem is I simply cant afford 29.00. I am unemployed and on welfare: section 8, food stamps, medicaid, etc. i thought i had been hurt in my life until I met this man now all i do is cry and my heart hurts so bad I sob my eyes out. I cant believe someone I love so much could be such a lying 2 faced pathetic PLAYER. He lies and cheats so much it isnt even funny and then tries to turn it around and blame his infidelity on me! and talk about delusional. He even has the nerve to accuse me of stalking him after being with him for 8 years and now he waffles between saying i am his gf one minute and saying when did i ever say you were my gf? If I were 20 something years old I could understand this is bs but I am not. I am 54 and he is 63. WTF? I thought about this one night and it finally began to dawn on me that I have been having the same relationship over and over since I was 18 , only this one is the worst and hurts the most and I just want someone to stop the world and let me get off of it and out of it. All i have ever wanted is a man to spend the rest of my life with, someone who only wants to be with me and not a million other women. I can see where my problem started and that was with my father. I think he was one too. He never loved me and would never let me hug him ever and he even stuck his nose up at me and was violent. Please I really need this book. Is there anyway that you would consider lowering the price? or let me make payments or something. I have read other books on the subject but none seem to come close to what you have revealed in the preview. I want to stop sobbing my eyes out and I want my heart to quit hurting. I am so hurt I feel like my son just died. 🙁 This man doesnt care how much he hurts me. He is so cruel that when I try to make a pass at him sexually he tells me to stop! Please.. help me. I am beginning to swear men off and no more relationships ever. Just the other night he made a comment to me, I would love to f—– you but I wont because you are a bitch and I cant stand you. He said he watches porn so he wont have to listen to me. (jerk) he constantly lies and every thing he says is always the complete opposite of how he really feels and what he is really doing.

  • Donna John son says:

    Well… Guess I’m here for clarification. Going on 38 years of marriage, and I’m realizing, or beginning to suspect, . That I’m married to a vicious narcissist! I’ve been so busy all of my life taking care of the kids, working full time and trying to be the perfect wife and mother, that I never stopped long enough to accept that he had an illness that would make him incapable of seeing his actions for what they were!!! I was always a fighter, and stood up for myself… But I’ve been pushed, choked called every vile name there is, and caught him in lies and sneaky behavior including porn, and in appropriate texting. He is very secretive but he is also generous with finances as long as he thinks it is a reward, and it’s always had to be his way! Narcissist? Yes or no😑

  • Thomas Schindel says:

    I totally agree with Gameze.
    I was so deep into the hands of a narc for 10 weeks in 2011. First time I ever felt that deep love to a woman, tourned out to be that nightmare. My love for this person was so profound and endless and I gave her my heart UNCONDITIONALLY and 10 weeks was enough to be more dead than alive. My life was gone and washed out between 2011-2015.
    The great part is the wisdom I can work with now and ofcourse I found out that my father who served as a priest for 34 years was a narc, and my mother a codependent (her father was also a narc) so I was probberbly primed to be a delicious bite.
    Among all the help and vids I have taken in, I think you might be the clearest window by far, Scott. You have a VERY IMPORTANT mission going on. Thank you and keep up the fine work. Professionals should learn from you.

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